Study Shows That Playing Hard to Get Is the Right Tactic for Seduction

According to a study conducted by  Israeli researchers, playing hard to get and being deliberately cold to the person you are interested in can be an effective way to make that person like you and even fall in love with you.

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Happy Couple

Happy Couple

“Playing hard to get is a widely used technique for attracting a person. Our previous research has not made it clear whether and why this method makes it easier to find a partner”. This is what researchers from the University of Rochester and the Herzliya Interdisciplinary Center in Israel wrote about in a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.

To find out if acting distant can help seduce a person, the team analyzed three studies. In the first study, participants interacted online with people whose profiles indicated that they were either “hard to attract” or “easy to attract.” In the second study, volunteers had to make an effort to charm the other person. The third study involved spontaneous interactions. All participants were asked to rate how hard to get was the other person was and to indicate how this has affected their desire to engage with him or her.

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Playing hard to “make you feel more wanted”.

According to the results, being cold increases the desirability of a potential partner. The researchers also found that playing hard to get was a technique that increased a person’s “worth.” “Playing hard to get makes you feel more desired,” said Harry Reis, co-author of the study and professor of psychology at the University of Rochester, in a statement.

Psychologist Gurit Birnbaum, a co-author of the research and a psychologist at the Herzliya Interdisciplinary Center, said that “people who are very easy to seduce may be perceived as more desperate. This makes them seem less “valuable” and less attractive than those who do not immediately show their romantic interest.

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The researchers said, however, that this tactic does not work on everyone. “If playing hard to get comes across as disinterested or arrogant it will backfire,” warned Harry Reis. The authors recommend that this technique should only be used when you are sure that the potential partner is not turned off right away. Additionally, the potential mate should feel that the efforts they are making are likely to work and succeed.

References

No pain, no gain: Perceived partner mate value mediates the desire-inducing effect of being hard to get during online and face-to-face encounters

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