Go back a few years, and the word “bachelor” would evoke in the minds of many an unhitched and carefree man, happy as a lark who goes about seducing all the maidens. On the other hand, the word “spinster” would bring up images of a wrinkly-skinned old hag, deeply unhappy as she wilts away on the stalk, hoping for a man to swoop in and save her from impending doom. In recent years, these images of a bachelor as a happy man and a spinster as a sad woman have been challenged. The spinster often takes the form of the cat lady, who if not exactly happy is at least content to stay home and take care of her many cats. The bachelor archetype then often finds expression as the “black-pilled doomer” incel who hates women (Costello et al., 2024) and leads a life that would be considered by many as very unhappy, definitely less happy compared to the cat lady. However, we do not have to rely on such stereotypes to guide our judgment. Here is a new study that places the proverbial nail in the coffin of the “happy bachelors, sad spinsters” idea.
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Single Women Happier Over Measured Parameters
Table of Contents
Elaine Hoan and Geoff MacDonald put this idea to the test (Hoan & MacDonald, 2024). They aggregated already collected data from close to 6000 participants, roughly half male and half female. These participants’ ages ranged from 18 years to 75 years with an average age of 31.74 years. The participants were given questionnaires that asked questions covering four parameters: relationship status satisfaction, life satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, and desire for a partner. The results showed that not only did single women have higher relationship status satisfaction, life satisfaction, and sexual satisfaction, but they also had lesser desire for a partner when compared to single men. All these findings suggest that single women are indeed happier than their male counterparts.
What Could Possibly Be Causing This?
The disparity in happiness while single between the sexes could be caused by any of these, or all of them at once.
Social ties
Men are more solitary in nature, whereas women are more likely to form a community sustained by several thriving relationships (Yang & Girgus, 2019). These communities mean single women are less likely to feel any negative impacts from being single.
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Traditionally, there has been a lot of societal pressure on women to secure a mate and settle down so as not to be seen as “leftover women”. This pressure may have been a major cause of unhappiness among single women. With time, society has grown more lax with its prescriptions, allowing single women to be free and have the time of their lives, which they appear to be doing.
Economic disparities
With women catching up to men in the workplace (Krivkovich et al, 2024), it has never been more palatable to be a single woman living alone and taking care of herself. The traditional male roles of provision and protection can be taken up by the women and the government. This deemphasizes the need for a man in the woman’s life.
What This Means For Our Society
With women being happier than men while being single, this could lead to a scenario where men proposition for marriage, while the women turn them down. If that is the case, then the trend of falling birth rates will continue with no end in sight. With already low birth rates (Osterman et al., 2024), nations will have to look to new sources of labor to run their economies in the decades to come.
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FAQs
How trustworthy are those findings?
The findings are based on subjective reports of happiness. People can claim to be happy while sad and sad while happy. However, the large sample sizes mean you can probably trust it as it is unlikely that so many uncoordinated people will lie this way.
How can I be happier while single?
Seek out meaningful, non-romantic human interactions. These interactions are often formed around shared activities such as music, sports, or hiking. If a local club exists, go sign up.
Will birth rates ever rise again?
Birth rates, like most other trends, are not set in stone. Once the factors contributing to falling birth rates are reversed, the birth rates will follow suit.
References
Costello, W., Rolon, V., Thomas, A. G., & Schmitt, D. P. (2024). The Mating Psychology of Incels (Involuntary Celibates): Misfortunes, Misperceptions, and Misrepresentations. Journal of sex research, 61(7), 989–1000. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2023.2248096
Hoan, E., & MacDonald, G. (2024). “Sisters Are Doin’ It for Themselves”: Gender Differences in Singles’ Well-Being. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 0(0). https://doi.org/10.1177/19485506241287960
Krivkovich, A., Field, E., Yee, L., McConnell, M., & Smith, H., (2024). Women in the Workplace 2024: The 10th-anniversary Report. McKinsey & Company https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/women-in-the-workplace
Osterman, M. J. K., Hamilton, B. E., Martin, J. A., Driscoll, A. K., & Valenzuela, C. P. (2024). Births: Final Data for 2022. National vital statistics reports : from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Health Statistics, National Vital Statistics System, 73(2), 1–56. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr73/nvsr73-02.pdf
Yang, K., Girgus, J.S. (2019) Are Women More Likely than Men Are to Care Excessively about Maintaining Positive Social Relationships? A Meta-Analytic Review of the Gender Difference in Sociotropy. Sex Roles 81, 157–172. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-018-0980-y
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