As modern society progressively shifts toward open discussions on sexual identity and well-being, the role of sex toys in personal gratification and relationships has come into focus. As a result, what was initially a regular niche market has rapidly transformed into a multi-billion dollar global industry with skyrocketing demands across various demographics. Sex toys are sexual pleasure devices or objects that are generally designed to look like human genitalia. There are several sex toys currently on the market and these vary depending on their functions including penetrative toys (like dildos), vibrators, and anal toys (like butt plugs, and nipple clamps. According to a 2022 survey, approximately 41% of American men report owning a sex toy at some point in their lives (Statistica, 2022a). The prevalence is even higher among women with approximately 82% of respondents agreeing to owning or having owned a sex toy (Statistica, 2022b).
Why Do More Women Use Sex Toys Compared to Men?
Statistics have consistently shown that women report higher rates of sex toy ownership and usage compared to men. This trend itself is driven by multiple factors arising from social and personal dimensions. For instance, compared to men, women are often faced with more societal pressure to “discover” and understand their preferences and needs in sexual contexts. This expectation which is itself rooted in evolving norms around sexual compatibility and communication pushes women to explore products like sex toys that facilitate self-discovery and body awareness (Conger, 2015).
For men, on the other hand, a double standard still persists. While women are increasingly encouraged to use sex toys as a means of self-care and sexual discovery, men are still significantly stigmatized by society. In society’s judgemental eyes, men who use sex toys are viewed as desperate losers and perverts who have resorted to “fake women” because they cannot find real women to have sex with—men who use sex toys are viewed as so unmanly that they cannot “get laid.” As a result in modern society, when a woman admits to owning a sex toy, they are seen as being sexually experienced. However, when a man admits to owning a sex toy, they are seen as being perverted creepy, and lonely (Conger, 2015).
Sex Toys and Loneliness—Is there a Link?
The use of sex toys has been linked to various psychological effects, especially in people experiencing mental health challenges including anxiety and depression. Considering the fact that people struggling with these disorders are often faced with compounded feelings of loneliness, addressing these coexisting mental health problems may help in alleviating their feelings of loneliness. A new study by researchers at Kinsey Institute demonstrated that an individual’s use of sextech was not due to their level of loneliness but to other factors. The study observed that for individuals with mental health disorders including depression and anxiety, sextech serves as a coping mechanism. Interestingly, the study noted that this mechanism was by far quite effective with individuals who use sextech reporting better feelings of mental well-being (Marcotte et al., 2021).
Sex Toys May Hold the Key to Reduced Divorce Rates
Like loneliness, divorce is a complex issue that stems from various factors including communication barriers, infidelity, and unmet sexual needs amongst a host of compounding factors. While the link between divorce and the use of sex toys may not be direct, studies suggest that sex toys can help to strengthen relationships and improve sexual satisfaction among couples. In a survey involving couples in Denmark, Sweden, France, Finland, Norway, and the United Kingdom, researchers at the University of Copenhagen polled data from about 12000 participants to assess the relationship between sex toy use and sexual satisfaction. The study reported that the majority of couples who incorporated sex toys during intimacy said that it had significantly improved their relationship satisfaction (Gert Martin Hald et al., 2024). Furthermore, the study also demonstrated that a statistically significant relationship existed between overall satisfaction and the frequency of sex toy use with couples who used sex toys more often reporting higher levels of sexual satisfaction than those who use it sparingly.
Clinical significance
Historically, sex toys including vibrators and dildos were used in medical practice in the treatment of gynecological conditions like painful sexual intercourse and anorgasmia as well as non-gynecological conditions like chronic pain, fever, and even hysteria. Today, their benefits may extend to involve mental health and relationships. Because of their impact on loneliness, sex toys may be useful in the treatment of mental disorders including depression and anxiety in both genders. In addition, psychologists and marriage counselors may also recommend the incorporation of sex toys into intimacy for partners who are sexually dissatisfied. By improving sexual satisfaction among couples sex toy usage may be a useful tool in reducing the rising divorce rates.
Conclusion
The evolving perception of sex toys in modern society has no doubt led to their increased usage today. However, biases still linger particularly for men who use sex toys. Men who use sex toys are generally perceived as being perverted while women who do the same are considered to be sexually experienced. Nonetheless, research has shown that sex toys may help to relieve loneliness as well as improve sexual satisfaction for couples who use them during sex.
References
Conger, C. (2015, December 4). What’s Up with the Stigma Against Men Who Use Sex Toys? Everyday Feminism. https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/12/the-male-sex-toy-stigma/
Gert Martin Hald, Pavan, S., & Øverup, C. S. (2024). Do Sex Toys Make Me Satisfied? The Use of Sex Toys in Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, France, and the UK. the Journal of Sex Research/the Journal of Sex Research, 1–15. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2024.2304575
Marcotte, A. S., Kaufman, E. M., Campbell, J. T., Reynolds, T. A., Garcia, J. R., & Gesselman, A. N. (2021). Sextech Use as a Potential Mental Health Reprieve: The Role of Anxiety, Depression, and Loneliness in Seeking Sex Online. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(17), 8924. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18178924
Statistica. (2022a). United States: most popular sex toy types among men 2022 | Statista. Statista. https://www.statista.com/statistics/1305989/most-popular-types-of-sex-toys-among-men-in-the-united-states/
Statistica. (2022b). United States: share of people who own sex toys in the U.S.2022. Statista. https://www.statista.com/statistics/1305978/share-of-people-who-own-sex-toys-in-the-us-by-gender/
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