For a long time, heterosexual relationships have been seen as the ideal template for sexual intimacy. The Bible for instance tells of the story of Adam and Eve, the very first sexual relationship. Similarly, most of the stories on human intimacy featured in the Holy Books feature men-and-women relationships. It is not surprising therefore that these relationships have been considered the most natural, ordained by God Himself. On the other hand, relationships between people of the same sex are viewed with disdain and labeled as unnatural or morally wrong.
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However, a recent study reveals that while same-sex relationships are not the societal and cultural projected gold standard for human intimacy, they offer better benefits for girls. In this study, the researchers recruited 2,738 teens between 15 and 18 years old across 23 schools in the country. The researchers aimed to understand the sexual experiences of these adolescents. Among the study participants, 51.4% identified as girls while 46.4% identified as boys. A smaller subset of the population (2.2%) identified as transgender or non-binary. The participants were made to complete anonymous online surveys in a classroom setting. Data obtained from these surveys were then compiled and analyzed. Findings from the study revolved around two topics including the frequency of orgasms and oral sex.
Orgasm Gap: Heterosexual vs. Same-Gender Relationships
According to the study, boys were generally more likely than girls to report experiencing an orgasm during masturbation and sex (86% vs. 72%). Among female respondents, girls in heterosexual relationships reported that they experienced more difficulty reaching an orgasm with their partner. This finding did not apply to girls in homosexual relationships. Girls in same-sex relationships reported that they did not experience any difficulty reaching orgasm during sex with their partner(s). This could be attributed to the fact a girl would be more successful in pleasuring a girl since she is one herself. On the other hand, a boy especially one with little to no experience with pleasuring girls would be less successful in this venture. Consequently, during sex, girls engaging in girl-girl sex would more likely report experiencing orgasms than girls in boy-girl sex.
Girls With Male Partners Receive Less Oral Sex
Just like the previous finding, the study observed that boys were more likely to get oral sex from girls than girls would get from boys. Similarly, the study also observed that girls in heterosexual relationships were less likely to get oral sex than girls in same-sex relationships. After comparing this finding with those in previous studies, the researchers observed significant similarities.
Traditional Gender Norms and Sexual Scripts Influence Adolescents’ Sexual Experience
The authors explained that gender norms and sexual scripts for boys and girls may account for the differences observed in both groups. For instance, the typical picture of men and women during sex is that of a dominant man and a submissive woman. It is not surprising that the missionary position is one of the most common sex positions. Due to the importance society places on the sexual satisfaction of men over women, these standards may influence how adolescents engage in sex. As a result, during sex, a girl is more likely to offer a guy oral than she would receive fellatio from him.
Additionally, a guy’s orgasm occurs at the same time as his ejaculation, which in itself is in line with the main aim of sex (reproduction) according to social and cultural standards. In simpler terms, if a boy doesn’t ejaculate, reproduction does not take place. And since men experience orgasm when they ejaculate, if a man doesn’t experience orgasm, reproduction does not take place. So, what is penetrative sex without ejaculation? Absolutely nothing! At least according to the beliefs we have long upheld. On the other hand, whether a woman ejaculates or not is of no consequence to reproduction. As a result, boys would experience more orgasms than girls would during sex. Ultimately, a boy would report more satisfaction after sex with a girl than a girl will after sex with a boy.
Boys in Heterosexual Relationships Have the same level of Sexual Experiences as Girls in Same-Sex Relationships
Having understood that society does in fact affect the sexual experience of boys and girls during sex, it makes sense that this influence would have little to no effect on homosexual relationships. This is because these relationships could be said to deviate from the ideal. They are outliers in a sense. Consistent with this hypothesis, the study observed that girls in same-sex relationships had the same level of sexual experience as regards the frequency of orgasm and oral sex as boys in heterosexual relationships. The fact that we have already established how heterosexual relationships favor boys more, this finding is quite interesting and significant.
Conclusion
“Relationships between men and women are ideal; They offer better sexual satisfaction”. This is what society and culture have led us to believe. A Canadian study has found this to be untrue, from the female perspective at least. Generally, boys were more likely to report more orgasms and oral sex than girls. Among girls however, the study showed that girls in same-sex relationships were more likely to experience orgasms and oral sex than those in relationships with boys. It is interesting to note that when the sexual experience of boys in heterosexual relationships and girls in homosexual ones was compared, the study did not observe any difference. This implied that although heterosexual relationships favor boys more than girls, the sexual experience of girls in homosexual relationships is no different from that of boys in heterosexual ones.
However, it is worth noting that while this study demonstrates the superiority of same-sex relationships in terms of orgasms over heterosexual relationships, at least for girls, you should not be too quick to believe its results hook, line, and sinker. One limitation that can be observed from the study is the fact that participants who identified as trans and non-binary were fewer than the heterosexual and cisgender groups. The researchers also noted this limitation. According to Girouard, one of the researchers, the low representation of sexually and gender-diverse individuals may have affected the statistical power of the results and resulted in incorrect conclusions. As a result, more research may be needed to completely validate and generalize its findings. Nonetheless, the study highlights a need for a more comprehensive, inclusive, and pleasure-focused sex education that addresses the issues revealed by the study. This will help bridge the gap in sexual satisfaction observed in the study.
FAQs
What does the term “orgasm gap” mean?
“Orgasm gap” refers to the disparity in the frequency of orgasms between men and women. As highlighted by this study, this gap has been culturally and socially designed to favor men over women.
Why do the authors think sex education would address these inequities?
Comprehensive sex education was the key recommendation by the authors as a means to bridge the sexual inequities in heterosexual relationships. This is because by teaching adolescents about sex in a way that helps them understand that sex should occur in such a way that it ensures mutual pleasure, respect, and proper communication, they could be made to understand at an early stage to not only prioritize their satisfaction but that of their partner too.
References
Girouard, A., Dion, J., Štulhofer, A., Bőthe, B., Blais, M., Paquette, M.-M., O’Sullivan, L. F., & Bergeron, S. (2024). Orgasm and Sexual Behavior Among Adolescents: Differences Across Genders and Dyad Configurations. Archives of Sexual Behavior. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-024-03054-6
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