Key Takeaways:
- Actively pursuing happiness can reduce self-control and mental energy, leading to lower life satisfaction.
- Studies show that happiness-seeking competes with self-regulation for limited mental resources, causing quicker burnout in tasks.
- Those focused on boosting happiness are more prone to temptation and poor decisions due to drained willpower.
- True well-being comes from appreciating the present rather than relentlessly chasing more happiness.
For a long time, scientists have been studying the happiness paradox: how the pursuit of happiness actually makes you even less happy and more miserable.
Happy Person
Researchers at the University of Toronto Scarborough have discovered the cause of this rather ironic deterioration in life satisfaction. Trying to improve one’s well-being is mentally exhausting to the point of undermining the ability to use self-control and willpower. This leads to being more likely to succumb to temptation or make self-destructive decisions. This mechanism was detailed in the journal Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being.
The pursuit of happiness is exhausting to mental resources and energy
To better understand the origin of the happiness paradox, the team first questioned hundreds of people about their well-being. They confirmed that the more a volunteer tried to be happy, the less self-control they demonstrated in their daily lives. In another survey, the researchers asked participants to rank lists of objects in order to measure their mental resources and self-regulation. The result: the more people sought happiness, the less time they devoted to the task. This shows the fact that happiness-seeking and self-control were competing for the same limited source of mental energy.
Similar results were demonstrated in an experiment. Participants were presented with everyday objects. One group was instructed to take those that enhanced their happiness. The second group was asked to choose according to their personal preferences. Both groups were then given a mental task to assess their self-control abilities. The happiness group stopped earlier, indicating that they had fewer mental resources left.
“The pursuit of happiness is akin to a snowball effect. You decide to try to make yourself happier, but that effort reduces your ability to do the things that make you happier,” summarizes study co-author Sam Maglio in a statement.
Appreciate what you already have if you want to be happy
However, the professor assures us that the quest for happiness is not in vain. For him, it’s more about letting go than taking action. Happiness, he adds, is like sand. You can have a handful in your hand and try to control it, “but the harder you hold the sand, the more your hand will cramp. Eventually, you’ll have to let go.
Her advice for boosting your joy and well-being? “Just relax. Don’t try to be super happy all the time. Instead of trying to get more of what you want, look at what you already have and accept it as something that brings you happiness.”
Related Reading
Pursuing Happiness as a Goal Often Fails to Make People Happier Study Shows
Bottom Line:
The pursuit of happiness often backfires by draining the mental energy needed to sustain it. Instead of aggressively chasing joy, focus on appreciating what you already have. Like holding sand, the tighter you grip, the more slips away; embrace moments of contentment without forcing them. Practice gratitude and mindfulness to nurture well-being naturally, rather than exhausting yourself in the race for perpetual happiness. Sometimes, letting go of the chase is the key to finding fulfillment.
FAQs:
Why does pursuing happiness backfire?
The effort exhausts mental resources needed for self-control, making it harder to resist impulses or sustain positive habits.
How did the study measure this effect?
Researchers used surveys, object-ranking tasks, and experiments where happiness-focused groups showed quicker mental fatigue.
What’s the alternative to chasing happiness?
Practice gratitude and mindfulness—focus on appreciating current blessings instead of wanting more.
Can striving for happiness ever work?
Yes, but balance is key. go for small, sustainable joys over constant self-improvement goals.
Who led this research?
Sam Maglio at the University of Toronto Scarborough, published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being.
References
Kim, A., & Maglio, S. J. (2025). Happiness depletes me: Seeking happiness impairs limited resources and self-regulation. Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being. https://doi.org/10.1111/aphw.70000
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