How to Love Yourself and Build Your Self-Esteem

What You Can Do to Improve Your Self-Love

Let’s face it: if you don’t love yourself, you may find it hard to find anyone who loves you.

But then, there are many people these days who feel so uncomfortable in their skin. They wish to be like some other people who seem to be having it great.

Your perception of self can have profound effect on your reaction to different situations in your life. When this leaves more to be desired, it is safe to say you may not be able to be the best you can be.

Looking for tips on what you can do to improve your self-love? We discuss in this article some proven ways to loving yourself.

Dangers of Low Self-Esteem

Failure to see something good in you can bring nothing good. What you will only succeed in getting out of it is low self-esteem or low self-worth.

Low self-esteem, which is the result of negative thoughts or influences, can have terrible adverse effects of different areas of your life. It can have negative impact on your quality of life, affecting everything from your relationships to your career.

The following are some of the problems that can result when you don’t see yourself being good enough:

Self-hatred

People with low self-esteem tend to have little value for themselves. Their attention is usually more on the flaws in their lives than those things that go well.

They think they are too tall, too short or just not good for some other reasons. This can lead to anger, frustration, and possibly failure to put adequate effort into looking after own well-being.

Perfectionism

Another classic problem with low self-esteem is that people having it tend to strive to be “perfect.” They believe they need to be a certain way to make people love them.

If you find that you often strive to do things to look good before others, chances are that you have self-esteem issue. This can make you set standards that are rather too high in your desire to get rid of all flaws.

You set yourself up for massive failure and drop in your self-confidence and self-esteem when perfectionism creeps in.

Self-doubt

When you fail to love and believe in yourself, you open yourself up to doubt about your ability. You may feel that you do not have as much as other people to contribute to your society or world. You think these other persons are better off.

There are several other issues that low self-esteem can bring, including anger and fear.

Why High Self-Esteem is Helpful

Healthy self-esteem can make a lot of difference in your life. It lets you have a frame of mind that you are as good as anybody else, even better. This boosts your confidence and makes you feel that you can do anything.

Self-esteem plays a very crucial role in decisions you make in your life. When it is on a healthy, higher level, you are better able to make good choices and decisions. It makes you more likely to take proper care of yourself and explore your maximum potential.

High self-esteem can make you more likely to bounce back when assailed by challenges.

It obviously makes a huge difference for a great life.

How to Love Yourself and Build Self-Esteem

The good news is that there are many things you can do to think better of yourself and build self-esteem. We present in the following sections some tips that are believed to help in this regard.

Admit your flaws

You are not really odd to think you fall short in some way relative to other people. We all have flaws. High self-esteem doesn’t mean that these do not exist. The thing is that people who have self-love don’t pay much attention to them.

So, the first step to loving yourself may be to admit that those flaws are there. But don’t focus too much on them. Realize that they don’t really define you.

Don’t judge yourself. Many other people might not really care about those things about you that are causing you to lose sleep.

Admitting your flaws is the first step to improvement. This makes you realize there are problems you need to deal with, if that falls within your power.

Accept yourself

Well, when you realize you have some seeming flaws, it is not wrong to try and correct them, if you can. It is a good thing. But ensure you are doing so for yourself and not to make others think well of you.

However, if it seems the flaws aren’t things you can do anything or much about, just accept them. Love yourself the way you are. Then shift attention to other areas in your life that matter more or make you feel good.

Self-acceptance can help you look past things that are out of your control to change. It lets you focus more on those things you have some level of control over.

Use affirmations

It has been suggested that daily affirmations can be helpful for loving and accepting oneself. These are positive statements that help to make you feel good about yourself.

Affirmations can help you silence your inner critic – that inner voice, which may be mistaken for that of reason, telling you others are better. When you constantly repeat them, they can make it easier for you to have compassion on yourself. They create feeling of empathy for self.

Examples that you may use include: “I am only human and can’t be perfect,” “I am more than these flaws,” or “I’m a nice person and I love and accept myself the way I am.”

Practically any statement that helps to calm and normalize your thoughts and feelings is good.

Forgive yourself

Sometimes, regret or grief about past failures may lead people to low self-esteem. This might be something you said or did in the past. It could also be how wrongly you behaved in some social situations.

It is likely as well that the regret or grief might be the result of unrealized dreams. You feel bad or low when seeing your peers doing better.

It is not entirely bad to feel this way. Some experts actually advise grieving about lost opportunities and unrealized dreams. But don’t spend too much time on that.

Just realize mistakes were made, forgive yourself, and learn from those mistakes. The past is gone; only the future lies ahead and matters.

Stop feeling inferior

The sooner you realize you are no less worthy than other people, the better for improving your self-love and self-esteem.

The fact that others seem to be doing better doesn’t really mean they indeed are. It’s more of a matter of taking initiative and refusing to let what others think to affect you adversely.

Think back to those times in your life when you successfully achieved something you thought difficult or impossible. There you have a sign that you are capable of doing things. That’s an indication that you can do things that make you feel good about yourself.

Draw attention to your strengths

You can get immense help in fighting feeling of inferiority by drawing up a list of your strengths. People with low self-esteem and self-hatred tend to focus more on their weaknesses than strong points.

List those qualities you have that are generally thought to be worth having. Are you a creative or an intelligent person? Do you consider yourself a loving, considerate or understanding individual?

It might be hard for someone with low self-esteem to easily see their strengths. If you are finding it tough making a list, give yourself time. Add strengths as you observe them. It might take you days to make a list.

It also helps to list your accomplishments. These are not only personal successes, but also how you were helpful to the achievements of others.

These lists can help improve your perception of self. They let you realize you have real values to offer.

Surround yourself with the right people

Low self-esteem may also be a function of the kind of people you surround yourself with. Are these judgmental individuals who tend to see flaws than strengths? It’s time for a change.

Self-doubt is more likely when you have critical people around. You find that you spend more of your time trying to please. You can easily start losing sight of your strong points in such situations.

Therefore, it is advisable that you only have caring, positive and supportive persons around you. Lose people with negative energy and link up with those that believe in and accept you.

Life is for living and not for pleasing some critical people.

Be assertive

It helps to learn how to be assertive in your communication when it comes to loving yourself. That doesn’t mean being arrogant, but it is about being firm on how far anyone can push you.

Do not shy away from speaking with people who tend to be critical of you most of the times. If they seem capable of reason, let them know how you find certain comments unkind. You may ask them for tips if they expect you to be better in some way.

Make yourself proud

Try to do things that make you feel proud and worthy. Make effort to touch the life of someone. This might be through volunteering or performance of some benevolent acts.

This has the potential to help you better realize your self-worth. You feel good that you are making a difference in a person’s life. As a result, you may not feel as unworthy as you usually do.

Fake it

Self-love is interestingly one of those things you may be able to fake until you have them.

You might not seem to be making much progress with all you do to improve your self-esteem. Just continue to actively make effort to think yourself as worthy, even when it appears not to be working. Keep at it.

Hopefully, you will be able to love and accept yourself as you are eventually when you continue putting these suggestions into practice.

 

REFERENCES

Therapists Spill: 12 Ways to Accept Yourself By: Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. (https://psychcentral.com/lib/therapists-spill-12-ways-to-accept-yourself/)

8 problems caused by low self-esteem – how to boost self esteem By: Christine Webber (https://www.netdoctor.co.uk/healthy-living/wellbeing/a25866/how-to-overcome-low-self-esteem/)

How Does Low Self-Esteem Negatively Affect You? By: Elizabeth Venzin (https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-does-low-self-esteem-negatively-affect-you/)

 

Leave a Reply