Every year about 60000 American kids are subjected to sexual abuse. The safety and well-being of children is a top priority for all parents. What should they do if they disclose that they have been abused?
Child Abuse
Although necessary, preventing sexual abuse is one of the most sensitive topics to discuss with your child. By opening a respectful dialogue, you can educate them about the potential risks and guide them toward better protection.
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Sexual abuse: How do you talk to your child about risks?
Communication is key to preventing sexual abuse. But it’s important to find the right balance between providing information without causing undue fear.
An honest and calm discussion can help your child understand risky situations while maintaining trust and avoiding over-dramatization. You can ask open-ended questions to help start the discussion, such as ‘What would you do if…? to help them share their thoughts about potentially dangerous situations.
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Also, remember that most sexual assaults are committed by people your child knows. By talking about this topic, you are also helping them to know how to protect their physical integrity and thus their safety. For example, you can:
- Use metaphors: “Your body is like a house you have to take care of. Only people you trust can enter”. Also, teach them that there are boundaries to be respected.
- Identify intimate parts: Teach them which intimate parts of their body no one should touch unless it is a doctor or relative for health reasons.
- “The right to say no”: Teach them that they have the right to say no in any situation that makes them feel uncomfortable, even if it’s an adult asking them to do something.
- Create scenarios: Make up fictional situations in which they can decide how to react. For example: ‘What would you do if someone asked you to show your genitals?
- Identify trusted adults: parents, teachers, or close family members.
While prevention is crucial, it’s equally important to know how to respond if a child confides in you about abuse.
What should I do if a child discloses abuse?
A child who tells you about sexual abuse shows confidence and asks for reassurance. It is therefore important to listen without judging and asking too intrusive questions that could influence what they say.
Try as much as possible to react calmly, even if the revelations shock you, and make sure you support them and explain that what happened was not their fault. Ultimately, you should alert the police for your own safety and to protect your child, but also to gather evidence, conduct an investigation and protect other potential victims.
The National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-4673 (800-656-HOPE)
References
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network. (2018). What to Do If Your Child Discloses Sexual Abuse: A Guide for Parents and Caregivers. https://www.nctsn.org/resources/what-do-if-your-child-discloses-sexual-abuse-guide-parents-and-caregivers
NCSafeSpace. (n.d.). Sexual Violence. https://www.ncsafespace.org/s-projects-side-by-side-1
