Healthy Conflict Resolution: 8 Skills That Can Be Taught To Most People

When it comes to conflict, we often think of it as a negative force. However, conflict doesn’t have to be destructive. Healthy conflict can lead to positive outcomes like greater creativity and improved relationships. Unfortunately, many people need to learn how to resolve conflict healthily. That’s why it’s important to teach skills that can help people learn how to manage conflict effectively. Here are eight skills that can be taught to most people about healthy conflict resolution.

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  1. Active Listening

Active listening is a critical skill for healthy conflict resolution. When you’re actively listening, you’re not only paying attention to the words your partner is saying but also to their body language and tone of voice. This allows you to understand them better and respond in a way that will help resolve the conflict.

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To actively listen, you must do more than hear the other person. As an aspiring counselor, the folks at https://online.sbu.edu/news/school-counselor-conflict-resolution-techniques suggest that you focus on the other person, repeat back what they say to show understanding and avoid interrupting them. You should also avoid interrupting or judging them. Doing all these things creates an environment where your partner feels safe opening up and sharing their feelings honestly.

  1. Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. In conflict, having empathy allows you to see things from your partner’s perspective and find common ground. It also helps create a sense of connection, making it easier to work through the issue.

To practice empathy, try putting yourself in your partner’s shoes and imagining how they might feel. Repeat their concerns in your own words, showing that you understand where they’re coming from. And avoid making assumptions or judging them for their emotions – remember everyone experiences and expresses emotions differently.

  1. Non-Violent Communication

Non-violent communication (also known as compassionate communication) expresses yourself without attacking or blaming your partner. It involves using “I” statements and focusing on the specific behavior or issue at hand rather than attacking your partner as a person.

For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try saying, “I feel frustrated when my concerns aren’t heard.” This focuses on the behavior (not being listened to) instead of accusing your partner of not listening. It also expresses how you’re feeling without blaming them for it.

  1. Compromise

There are two basic types of compromise – positional and interest-based. Positional compromise happens when two people are arguing over who gets their way. Interest-based compromise occurs when two people try to find a solution that meets everyone’s needs as best as possible. Most of the time, interest-based compromise will be more effective than positional compromise because it considers everyone’s needs instead of just one person’s desires.

It starts with communication – listening to the other person’s point of view and understanding their needs, wants, and concerns. From there, brainstorm solutions together that meet both of your needs as best as possible. And finally, work towards implementing that solution, being open to adjusting it if necessary.

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  1. Assertiveness

There are many benefits to being assertive. Assertive people are more likely to meet their needs, have healthier relationships, and feel better about themselves. Assertiveness is a skill that can be learned, and many techniques can help you become more assertive.

One of the most important things to remember when trying to be more assertive is to stay true to yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not to please others. Be honest with yourself and others about what you want and need. This will help ensure that your needs are considered in any situation.

When trying to be more assertive, it’s also important to be clear and concise. Avoid using vague language or making assumptions. Instead, make sure that you express your thoughts and feelings in a way that is easy for others to understand.

  1. Constructive Feedback

Giving and receiving feedback can be a crucial part of resolving conflict. However, giving feedback constructively is essential – avoiding judgment or attacking language, focusing on specific behaviors or actions, and offering solutions or suggestions for improvement.

One technique for giving constructive feedback is the “sandwich method,” where you start with something positive, then mention the issue at hand, and finish with another positive or solution-oriented statement.

When receiving feedback, stay open-minded and listen without immediately becoming defensive. Remember that feedback is meant to help improve the situation, not attack or blame you as a person. And if necessary, come up with a plan to address the issues raised in the feedback.

  1. Collaborative Problem Solving

Most people think the best way to resolve a conflict is to battle it until one side wins. However, this type of resolution can often lead to negative outcomes like damaged relationships, resentment, and even physical violence. There is a better way – collaborative problem-solving.

Collaborative problem solving (CPS) is a process where both parties work together to find a solution that meets everyone’s needs. It involves communication, compromise, and cooperation and makes both sides feel heard and respected.

The CPS process begins with identifying the issue and brainstorming possible solutions. From there, the two sides work together to select a solution that meets everyone’s needs as best as possible. And finally, they work towards implementing that solution together.

The benefits of using CPS are many. Both parties feel satisfied with the outcome, relationships are improved or maintained, and there is less chance for future conflict because the root cause was addressed head-on.

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  1. Understanding and Managing Emotions

It’s well-known that emotions play a huge role in conflict. It’s often the emotions driving the conflict, whether it’s anger, frustration, fear, or jealousy. And if these emotions aren’t managed properly, they can easily lead to destructive behavior and further conflict.

Many techniques can help you manage your emotions effectively. One of the most important is to understand what you’re feeling and why. When you know what’s driving your emotional response, it’s much easier to control it. Another technique is to practice self-compassion – being kind and understanding towards yourself even when you’re struggling emotionally. This helps keep negative thoughts and feelings at bay and allows you to move on more quickly.

By learning these skills, people can approach conflicts more confidently and effectively, leading to better outcomes for all involved. So make sure to teach yourself and others about healthy conflict resolution techniques. It may just improve your relationships and overall well-being.

References

https://www.edmonds.edu/counseling/documents/Conflict.pdf

https://www.apa.org/gradpsych/2010/03/conflict

https://positivepsychology.com/conflict-resolution-relationships/

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